What’s the difference between an introvert and an extrovert? An introvert is highly stimulated by an environment that is quiet and peaceful. An introvert enjoys spending time a part from the crowd. In contrast, an extrovert is highly  stimulated by an environment that is social and loud. An extrovert enjoys spending time with the crowd. Introverts focus most of their energy on their internal world whereas, extroverts focus most of their energy on their external world.

 

Being an introvert will help you focus your attention on your relationship. Being an introvert allows you to focus internally on how you can best develop and deepen the connection that you have with your spouse. There is nothing wrong with being an extrovert in your marriage. The purpose of this article is to help you understand the importance of focusing your energy on your internal world rather than the external world. Being highly stimulated in a quiet and peaceful environment nurtures reflection and the ability to gain the wisdom of life.

 

You are faced with so many distractions in the external world that you can easily lose sight on what is truly important in your life. Marriage is a deep commitment and bond between two individuals that should be held with high standards. We as human beings are constantly battling off the darkness of life. This darkness consists of all the distractions that can and will take you away from your spouse. Because we are human, we have imperfections. We have temptations that can get the best of us. These temptations can be as simple as eating chocolate or being addicted to pornography. No matter how big or small these temptations are for you, you must take control of your marriage by focusing your energy on your internal world. The external world is what you can not control whereas your internal world is what you can control.

Why Focus on Being An Introvert?

 

As our society continues to grow and develop, so does our human race. The more complex our external world becomes, the more you must focus on developing your internal world. Your internal world consists of who you are, what you believe in, and the values that you live by. Your internal world can be affected by your external world either in a positive or negative way. You can view the external world from a perspective that is inspiring, encouraging and uplifting or view the external world from a perspective that is discouraging, frightening and overwhelming. You have the option to either focus your energy on your external world or your internal world.

 

Your internal world will be what influences you to make decisions according to what you believe in. You can either believe the standards of the external world or the standards of your internal world. I see so many people being caught up in the external world that they forget about strengthening their marriage in their internal world. When you focus too much of your time and energy on the external world such as fame, money and materialistic possessions, you lose sight with strengthening your marriage.

 

Without a solid foundation in your internal world, you will be easily tempted to just “follow the crowd”. Follow the latest trends and standards of society. You will say yes to things such as buying a new flat screen television or buying a brand new Lexus just because you see it on television or  you want to impress your friends. Buying “stuff” will not strengthen your marriage. Wanting to impress your friends with a new car that you bought will not strengthen your marriage. What will strengthen your marriage is to focus your energy on your internal world. By taking  the time out of your day to reflect on how you can best love your spouse, you will strengthen your marriage.

 

When you make the mental decision to focus on your internal world, you are creating the marriage that you truly want and deserve. Your internal world is the compass that will help guide you in the right direction. Commit to developing yourself as an individual and as a spouse. Work on strengthening your marriage rather than reaching for the external world to complete you. When you focus on your internal world, you will be complete. When you focus on the external world, you will always have something missing. Fame, money and materialistic possessions will never fully complete you. Being true to who you are, knowing what you believe in and living each day in alignment with your values will fully complete you.

 

How To Focus On Your Internal World

 

• First things first, you must make the mental decision to focus on your internal world. You must commit on a daily basis to focus your attention on developing who you are and deepening the connection with your spouse.
• Turn off the television in the evenings and focus on reconnecting with your spouse. So many couples just plop in front of the television after a long day of work. This does nothing but weaken the foundation of your marriage. Reconnect with your spouse after a long day of work.
• Take the time to reflect on a daily basis on your values and beliefs in life. Write down your values on a piece of paper and have it in a place where you visually see and say it on a daily basis.
• Instead of reading magazines, start reading personal development and marriage books. This has really helped me in my own marriage and continues to deepen my connection with my husband. Go to your local library, get yourself a library card and start reading books that will strengthen your mind and your marriage.
• Sit down with your spouse and write down what your values and beliefs are as a couple. Make it a point to live each day in alignment with your deepest values and beliefs.
• Stop trying to impress your friends and start loving your spouse. This is as simple as doing the dishes, cleaning the cat litter or mowing the lawn. If you want to strengthen your marriage, you must focus on loving your spouse rather than trying to keep up with the Joneses.
• Spend each weekend together in a quiet place where you can both “just be“. A healthy marriage consists of both individuals being able to just let go. When you find yourself having to put up a facade, you can not fully strengthen your marriage. Spend time just talking or reading on the couch. There is power in simplicity.

 

Your internal world is what you can control. How you love your spouse and how you live each day is what you can control. The media and society’s standard of living is what you can not control. You must focus on what you can change and invest each and every day on strengthening your marriage. Your internal world is who you are, what you believe in and living in alignment with your deepest values. 

 

“What are some aspects of your internal world that you can start focusing on that will strengthen your marriage?”